PEACEMAN

Irritated? Frustrated? Angry? Ready to explode? You're not alone.Conflict is part of everyday life. Conflict produces stress, hurts friendships, and can cause injury and death. We can't always avoid conflict but we can learn to manage it without violence. That way, we use conflict to improve our lives and to learn from past mistakes.

Do it yourself. . .
What skills do you need to manage personal conflict?
• Understanding your own feelings about conflict.
o This means recognizing your "triggers," words or actions that immediately provoke an emotional response, like anger. It could be facial expression, a tone of voice, a pointing finger, a certain phrase. Once you know your "triggers," you can better control your emotions.
• Active listening.
o Go beyond hearing just words; try to understand what the other person is saying. Listen carefully, instead of thinking about what you're going to say next. Active listening requires concentration and body language that says you are paying attention.
• Generating options for resolving a conflict.
o Many people can think of only two ways to manage conflict - fighting or avoiding the problem. Get the facts straight, brainstorm all ideas that might help resolve the argument, and discuss the pros, cons, and consequences.

Tips for Making Peace
• Choose a convenient time.
• Plan ahead.
• Talk directly.
• Don't blame or name-call.
• Give information.
• Listen.
• Show that you are listening.
• Talk it through.
• Work on a solution.
• Follow through.