Teen Dating Violence

Teens are frequently verbally, physically, and sexually abused in their dating relationships in attempts by their partners to gain power and maintain control. The victims sometimes cannot recognize the abuse because the examples from their homes, peers, and the media have been abusive as well, and they think it is normal behavior.

At the beginning of a relationship, controlling behavior and jealousy can be incorrectly interpreted as commitment and love by a vulnerable teen. The mistreatment leads to depression, anxiety, and hopelessness and can develop into destructive behavior.

Verbal or emotional abuse involves name calling, yelling, public embarrassment, intimidation, and rumors. It leads to fear and a reduced sense of self worth for the victim. The physical abuse of hitting, pushing, and kicking commonly occurs when girls refuse sexual advances. Sometime the abuser knows how to physically batter someone without leaving a mark, so it is not obvious. Date rape and unwanted sexual activity are experiences of sexual dating abuse. A new type of abuse is technology based, and includes text messaging, email, and social networking. The control that an abuser craves can be gained easily by bullying on these technologies.

There is a three stage pattern of abuse that repeats: tension building, explosion, and honeymoon. There is a build up of pressure during the tension building stage when emotions are escalating, and then there is the explosion of verbal, physical, and/or sexual abuse. After the behavior, the abuser is remorseful and profusely apologizes, promising never to hurt their partner again. The behavior is then repeated, despite the regret expressed.

There are factors that influence dating violence in a young person’s world. Unfortunately, if a child has been brought up in a home where men are violent toward women, and the women accept the abuse, they believe this is normal. Peers also influence behavior, and if adolescents have friends who tell them that it is acceptable to abuse dating partners, then they will. With these unhealthy influences in place, the mass media influence also contributes poorly to the perception of a healthy relationship.

The emotional impact of abuse for a young woman is devastating, and it leads to harmful coping strategies including substance abuse, eating disorders, risky sexual behaviors, and suicide.

When a young woman is experiencing abuse, it is almost impossible for them to seek help and end the abusive relationship. Many feel that they would rather be in the cruel relationship than in no relationship at all. They also fear that their peers will take sides with the abuser. Victims are reluctant to seek help from adults because of previous mistrust of parents or people of authority. A victim may also have a misconception of what is normal and remain in the relationship.

School based prevention programs can be implemented to address teen dating violence. This offers the opportunity to change attitudes and teach alternatives to violence. These programs are providing evidence that they can reduce the chances of abuse developing.

By: Grace Enderlein

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How To Handle Rejection And Overcome Your Fear Of Approaching Women

Is the fear of getting rejected stopping you from approaching and meeting girls? This does not have to be the case if you know how to handle rejection expertly.

A lot of guys face rejection because they start out with the wrong objective in mind. Some of them look at approaching women as a seduction game that they have to win. For others, the aim of approaching women is simply to get a phone number or a date.

I used to think like this too before I realized that rejection is relative to how you determine your goal or your success. If you define your objective as getting a girl’s phone number and you don’t end up getting it, you will feel like you’ve failed. As a result, you end up stressing about it while approaching women or making conversation.

Now, what if you define your objective as meeting women to discover interesting activity partners? Takes a load off of your shoulders, doesn't it? Now you don't have to be so stiff when talking to a girl and you can concentrate on getting to know her better.

Women are also more receptive when they sense that you genuinely want to get to know them. They feel the sincerity of your approach and are more likely to open up to you.

Another way to overcome rejection when meeting women is to vary your approach. Make sure it’s appropriate to the occasion or the venue where you are interacting in. What’s appropriate in a nightclub may be too aggressive in a sports club.

It’s helpful to constantly try different opening strategies. Experiment to see which approach works and suits your personality best. As you know, we don’t get a second chance to make a first impression. And it’s at this stage that you pitch yourself to the ladies as somebody interesting and exciting.

Lastly, it’s important to have a healthy outlook when it comes to rejection. It happens and it happens to everybody. That it has happened to you has no bearing on who you are as a person. The goal is not to avoid it, but to see it for what it is.

Rejection happens not because you’re not rich enough or sexy enough or smart enough. Even the most charismatic men have encountered rejection at some point in their lives. The only difference is that these successful men never gave up and learned from their mistakes.

Not all women we find attractive will find us attractive in return. Sometimes, you just don’t hit it off. Thankfully, that doesn’t mean you’ll always suffer same outcome when you approach other women.

In dating, like in anything else, you have to keep moving forward. The more practice you have approaching women and taking to them, the better and more confident you will become at it.

By: Carl C.

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Best Way to Break Up with Someone

A lot of relationships come with an expiration date. And when that day comes, you’d better be prepared for the best way to break up with your specific someone. It won’t be easy but it’s not something that can take care of itself either.

When breaking up, you can’t help hurting the other person involved (and yourself) in the process. Still, that doesn’t excuse you from being insensitive and charging blindly like a bull. For the best way to break up with someone, check these tips out!

1) Rip the band aid off.

The best way to break up with someone is by doing it as quickly as you can. Do not prolong the situation with endless explanations and indirect answers. Don’t try giving out hints either just because you can’t muster up the courage to say what you really mean.

It’s going to hurt no matter what. Trying to stretch it out will only keep both of you from moving on faster. Sometimes, it’s better to just “rip the band aid off.” Be direct to the point but stay sensitive as well.

2) Avoid goodbye presents.

If you’re going to break up with someone, bringing flowers over isn’t exactly the brightest idea. Unless you want to get thwacked by your own bouquet of roses, save the flowers for another occasion.

Goodbye gifts don’t help alleviate the pain. In fact, they only do the exact opposite. The best way to break up with someone is to be as simple and sincere as you can. No frills needed.

3) No return policy.

Perhaps this is also the right time to say that returning old love letters and presents are not advisable either. Doing so might help you get rid of extra baggage; but the truth is, such a move is equivalent to sticking a dagger into the other person’s heart.

For both your sakes, stop this practice! Don’t be so selfish as to disregard how the other would feel about having his or her gifts returned.

A lot of people think that the best way to break up with someone is by prolonging the situation, giving farewell presents and returning old love letters. Wrong. All wrong. Try reversing the situation and see how you’d feel when you try to break up with another person. That is probably your best gauge for any situation.

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Laughter, Best Remedy Ever!

Laughter is the best medicine, now there is a very common comment. I also believe this one, laughter is the best medicine.

When you are laughing and enjoying yourself there is no better feeling. Your spirits are high, your outlook is positive, and you feel better all over.

Haven't you ever experienced a time when you were at your lowest and that right person came along and said or did something that just made you start laughing? Have you ever
watched a show on TV and someone did something that made you laugh out loud when you were the only one in the room? Here's a good one too, how about reading cards that you are
buying for someone and you find yourself laughing out loud in the store? Laughing is a great remedy for all that ails you.

I have been dealing with some health issues lately and this last week it has really been a little difficult. I am going to be having some surgery done and I went to tell my best
friend what was going on. She is a cook and was working in the kitchen where she works so I went in there to talk to her. As I was telling her I started to cry a little and she
came over to give me a hug and I went to hug her back. In that little bit of time she closed the microwave door that was right beside us and my sleeve got caught in the door. I
had to say, I can't hug you because I am stuck in the microwave door. We both started laughing, it took the pressure off and made it all easier in some ways.
My friends and family make me laugh a lot and I know from experience that it is my best medicine.

I watch Ellen on TV for that reason, the woman can make me laugh like no other. I enjoy her so much and I can count that I will laugh while watching her show. Friends and Mad

About You use to do the same thing.

Find whatever it takes to give you a laugh in your day. It doesn't matter if it is a TV show, friends, family, or a stranger for that matter. You will feel so much better from
laughing and you will be able to handle whatever is in your path in a healthier manner.

By: mckennacon

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The Power Of Saying "no"

No is a simple little word, but one of the most important we can use to bring peace to our lives. A common stress-producer that can affect us emotionally is to over-promise and under-deliver and we do this by not using that simple little word, “no.” Many of us have done this at one time or another; however, there are those who fall into this trap frequently, causing themselves considerable stress.

Let’s look at two scenarios:

Although you may already be involved in a number of committees, you receive a call about an interesting opportunity to join yet another. The person calling lists the advantages and how you will be a perfect fit for the duties. You begin to feel excited by the opportunity, but instead of taking time to think about it, you say “Yes”! Even though you may already be over-committed, you can’t turn back, so in order to save face, you take on the added responsibility. As time wears on, you wear down.

At work, a large project is looming. You look at your fellow employees who make up the team and after honestly appraising their talents, you note that none of them are really qualified to take the leadership role. In fact, some of them should not even be on the team. Well, they are, and since no one else is as qualified as you, you become the team leader.

One of your immediate duties is to set the deadline. You set a rather short deadline, knowing that as a motivator and leader, your team can meet it. Shortly into the project,
you notice that there are those who are dragging their feet, not working to your expectations, and as the leader you are responsible to get this project finished as promised.

Gathering all of your leadership skills, you try to get the team working to their full potential in order to get the project completed on time. In the meantime, your stress
increases as you question your decision in taking the leadership role.

Why do we take on more than we can handle?
• Do we need to elevate ourselves in the eyes of others by over committing?
• Are we caught in the treadmill of overachieving so as to look good?
• Are there childhood issues that we need to address, a neediness that must be filled by activity?
• Is our mindset that we can do it better than the next person?
• Do we feel that there is no one more qualified than we are?

Should you find yourself in the habit of over-promising, I encourage you to take time to introspect and find out why. Over-committing ourselves not only negatively impacts us,
but also our families, fellow employees, and all others we come in contact with.

If you are serious about changing, try this exercise: stand in front of a mirror take a hard look at yourself and say “NO.” Practice this often and you will discover another way
of reducing your stress!

By: Best nurse Audrey

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Dealing With Small Frustrations

Most people can deal with frustration for a very long period. But maybe you recognise the situation that suddenly the frustration is too much. You feel that you can't handle the situation anymore, where before you were much more resilient.

People think: this happens because I am getting older, I can't stand that much anymore. But in fact it is not your age that matters. It is because you experience too many small,
small frustrations. They were so small that you didn't care about them. You just left it the way it was. You thought you could deal with it.

But getting rid of frustrations is much better than dealing with them. I know that sometimes you don't have a choice and you really have to deal with your frustrating situation.

I talked about those examples before: in your Job in taking care for parents or ill people. There are ways to deal with those situations.

But now I am talking about those small frustrations. Almost to small to take seriously. And that is were we go wrong. All those small bits of frustration build an enormous mountain of grief. At some point you cannot bear that mountain anymore.

That is the reason why it is very important to get rid of those small frustrations. So you don't have to think: it is because of my age that I can't take them anymore.Make a plan to get rid of one frustration every day. For example: Today you notice that your windows have to be cleaned. Then do this immediately today. In the evening while you brush your teeth, you remember that you have to make an appointment with your dentist. Do this first thing in the morning.

The next day, you realize that you still didn't finish your administration. Do it immediately. The day after that you find the dirty soccer shoes of your son. Call him now and tell him to clean them. Next day you see that your partner forgot to put the garbage on the street. Remind him as soon as you notice it.

It is a bit more work to get rid of those small frustrations immediately. But I can tell you that in the end it will be much better for you. Even in your old age you will be able to deal with any frustrating situation that will appear in your life.

By: Liefya

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A Mind At Peace

"A mind at peace, a mind centered and not focused on harming others, is stronger than any physical force in the universe."

Dr. Wayne Dyer

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